“How long do you think it will be?”

I love my beard, but I no longer think of it as “my beard”.  In my head, I have begun calling it Oliver.  So if you see me refer to “Oliver” in any future posts, you will be pre-warned that I mean my beard. 

Oliver has finally grown to a size where it evokes comments.  People who don’t know about my project will mention to me that my beard is getting pretty burly.  I like that.  I like all of the adjectives that come with my beard.  Burly is pretty common.  Brawny.  Wicked.  Gnarly.  Robust.  There are others, but I tend to focus on the adjectives that make it seem like Oliver might go start a fight in a seedy bar. 

But the people I spend the most time with (friends, family, and close co-workers) all know that I am growing this monstrosity for a full year.  And by far the most common thing that I hear is:

How long do you think it will be? 

I have a pretty standard answer to that question.  I generally say, “I don’t know.  Pretty freakin’ big.” 

That usually satisfies people’s curiosity. And I’ll admit, I’m pretty curious, too.  I have never grown my beard for more than four months, so I don’t know.  I know that at the end of four months, it looks like this:

Last Time at 3 months and 3 weeks long


So that was JUST under four months of growth.  If we assume that the rate of growth is essentially constant, then my beard will be three times that length, which would put the finished product at about… here…?

Scientific measuring device...


This is all by way of saying that I haven’t got the foggiest idea of how big it will get.  If my growth holds steady then I guess it will end at about mid-chest level.  But I have been told by many reputable sources *ie guys with big beards* that your growth will eventually slow down.  So I don’t know.  I’m anxious to find out. 

But I have 297 more days of beard growing ahead.  I’m confident that Oliver will mature into a perfectly upstanding citizen.  My hope is that he gets to a size where women swoon and men step lightly.  But we’ll discover the answer together.


***^^*** the holidays did a number on my posting regularity.  I apologize for that.  However, they also limited my shameless self-promotion, which I imagine was a wonderful thing to people who follow me on Facebook or Twitter. 

Wait?  You DON’T follow me on Facebook or Twitter?  Weak sauce!  There is a link to my Twitter page on my blog homepage OR you can just go to http://www.twitter.com/theyeard/  As for Facebook, my personal page is under my name, Evan Floyd (cincinnati, oh,, network) but the Yeard fan page will be operational within the next two weeks.



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2 responses to ““How long do you think it will be?”

  1. rachael

    I feel strongly that Oliver would feel better if you drove some sort of truck. This one would be my pick: http://lowdownlowdown.com/greenboy/MusicImage/Canyonero.jpg

  2. Amy

    So I find that as my hair (on the top of my head) gets longer, it is more susceptible to breaking at the ends…..do you find that Oliver is getting any split ends? Or is your moisturizing routine sufficient to keeping Oliver looking healthy? I wonder if breakage has to do with the growth slowing down as he ages and if a good conditioning routine would extend the life of Oliver. Just a thought 🙂

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