I think it’s safe to say that everyone wishes they could go back in time and relive some part of their lives. I think that it is also safe to say that we would all probably do something different. I can say for me that there are a number of choices I would make differently if given the option. Here is a short list:
1. I wouldn’t have eaten three chipotle burritos in one sitting. Trust me.
2. I wouldn’t have bet so much of my money on the Colts against the Patriots from 2001-2005.
3. I wouldn’t have married that Russian girl from the internet. Svetlana was nice, but incredibly high-maintenance.
4. I wouldn’t have built that giant, flying jiffy-pop lookin’ balloon in my backyard and then convinced my child to hide so that I could say he was in it.
5. I wouldn’t have tried to raise a Koala Bear in my laundry room. Sure they’re cute, but the mess is excessive and they can be mean when cornered.
My parents and close friends probably assume that my regrets focus more on college (at which I was AWESOME) and relationships (at which I was EQUALLY AWESOME). And they’d be right. But if you haven’t noticed, I’m trying to keep this blog pretty light and fun.
But this retrospective is less about Svetlana (horrible cook) and more about beards. I didn’t regret participating in Whiskerino 2007, but I was definitely ready for it to be over by the end of the four month long beard growing exhibition. So how will I do it for three times as long? Simple: I’m older and wiser now. Obviously.
Here was me from this date in 2007:
And here is me Today:
Notice that I’m wearing the same sweater? My wardrobe is timeless.
But now my point… if I could go back and tell 2007 Evan with the long flowing locks one thing, what would it be??
ANSWER: Don’t try to eat 3 chipotle burritos in one sitting. Seriously.
SIDE NOTE: Is my beard bigger this year than last time? If it is… I’m in some serious trouble come August.